Pause.step.

This is a super cheesy and love-filled post. Consider yourself warned. 

So the time has come...as a the day gets closer and closer a combination of feelings take over me. However, no matter how happy, excited, sad, nervous or anxious I feel, there is nothing that can overcome the inmense feeling of gratitude that fills up my heart. 

I can stand today before the world and call myself a proud and honored daughter of the one and only who could bring me this far. Almost 2yrs ago I began a process that not even in my wildest dreams could've been the emotional rollercoaster it turned out to be. 

Immersed in essay writing, college researching, GRE studying sessions (tons of junk food included), nerve-wrecking weeks of waiting for an email followed by crunch time days of millions of errands, these 2 years have brought about a series of lessons that I would like to take a second and share with you. 

1. I am not in control. He is: if you, like I once did, have surrendered your life to God then I regret to inform you that you are not in control. I used to believe I had understood this, but turns out that I hadn’t. Becoming a Fulbright grantee opened up the door to a closet full of fears and self-doubt that I thought were long gone. However I have never been so at ease as now, knowing that my life could never be in better hands. “My future decided, I will praise your name”
2. You think you know, but you have no idea: I walked into this Fulbright thingy thinking I knew what I was getting myself into. Well, I was in for a reality check. It has been 2 years of ups and downs, laughing and crying, praying and waiting, hoping and wishing, trusting and believing and the list could go on forever. Through it all, He has been with me.
3. Dream bigger: no matter what you think is the biggest thing that could happen to you, God’s dreams are even bigger. So don’t limit yourself to what you think is the best for you, stay open to what He might bring your way. I thought Boston was the place for me, so going to Florida has turned out to be a slowly unwinding mystery, filled with great things I’m super excited to discover.
4. You’re not alone: your life changes the moment you turn in those applications papers. It will never be the same, guaranteed. I was very scared and anxious during these years, it wasn’t easy but I was never alone. God has given me amazing friends (old and new) and family to help me go through this. People who I didn’t think cared so much for me and other who I didn’t know I would end up loving so much.

As I get ready to close a chapter in my life and open a completely new set of blank pages I can firmly say I am no the same person that turned in that application april 24th 2009 and for that I am forever grateful.